Pressing Matters of a Sound Mind

In the Dawes,Tomes, Mousley, Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank

Wasn’t it great whenever you pulled out that yellow Community Chest card in Monopoly that awarded you with $200 due to a "Bank Error in Your Favor"? Ha, what a ruse!

In real life that NEVER happens, in the event of an error, it’s RARELY in your favor. With all the bungling nonsense that Wells Fargo has put me through, incorrectly processing two savings accounts, a checking, and credit card accounts, totally incapacitating me from accessing any of my funds, it's been a far cry from a "Bank Error in Your Favor". The company is full of incompetent fools; walk in to your local Wells Fargo branch and expect to get a ear full of hot air financial jargon gobbledygook. In fact, last time I walked in, they were posting up a sign that read "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here". And rightfully so, it's been a nightmare doing business with Wells Fargo. What happened to the olden days before there were banks, back when people used to hide their gold, silver, and cash in all kinds of places from socks to under mattresses and in double sewn curtains? With the way this Wells Fargo fiasco has carried on, and in our current economic crisis, I am starting to think the safest place to invest my money is in a hole in the ground.

I feel quite like Michael Banks, who in "Mary Poppins" when affronted by the elderly miser Mr. Dawes who aggressively tries to persuade me to invest my money in the Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, to the point of actually snatching it out of my hand without my explicit permission-which I had never had any intention of giving! Wells Fargo, oops, I mean Dawes sings "If you invest your tuppence wisely in the bank, safe and sound, soon that tuppence, safely invested in the bank, will compound! And you'll achieve that sense of conquest, as your affluence expands! In the hands of the directors, who invest as propriety demands!", ever the greedy money changer. All the while preventing me from accessing my money.

(See the video here)

Michael protests and yells "GIVE IT BACK! I WANT MY MONEY!" The other customers hear, and all panic, and in mass hysteria they rush the tellers effectuating a run on the bank, withdrawing their money, causing the bank to suspend business.

Which started me to thinking, in real life, IF you were to draw the "Bank Error in Your Favor" card, is it ethical to keep the money?

Of course I should keep it! What a question! The bank would certainly keep the money if it were a "customer error in your favor". The first thing I would do is check my Wells Fargo account to make sure they didn't take it from one of my other accounts. Once resolved, I'd take the extra money and spend it QUICK before the bank figured out! I mean, after all, it's their fault, they are in error. Would you give back the $10 for winning 2nd place in the Beauty Pageant if you were unattractive if you drew that Monopoly card?

But, then again, no! In fact, you could probably be held guilty of fraud, or stealing the money. You might even "Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200", or have to pay a fine. Business has evolved since those days of Monopoly dreaming of "get rich quick" (get poor quicker) schemes, and not reporting a bank error could get you in serious trouble. If fact, the Monopoly game could do with an update, one fitting to our present economic situation, the Recession Edition, one where nobody has any money, houses don't sell, and the car token has a family living out of it.

But if there was a bank error in my favor, I'd keep the money but use it for something chartiable to give back to the community, like cleaning up the Baltic Avenue slums or perhaps for patching up the Boardwalk. St. Charles' Place could use a good resurfacing, the asphalt pavement has seen so much traffic. Maybe I'd even put in a new rail line, the "Grand Funk Railroad" to loosen the strain on the other modes of transportation and improve the travel infrastructure (I mean ... for goodness' sake, there's only ONE car in the whole area). If I had any leftover after that, I'd throw some in towards "The Uncle Pennybag's Rehab Fund". Poor guy got hooked on the "thimble" back in the Hippie 60's, the stuff's ruled his life ever since, and it's taken him so long to get back on his feet. I guarantee you that that "Get out of jail free" card has come in pretty handy and was worth holding on to as it's gotten him out of some sticky situations...


So, reader, both you faithful "followers" of this blog, I turn the question over to you. What do you think... ethical or unethical?

posted by Austin @ 9:11 PM